There’s a phrase Colan, and I often use it to describe a general mood— “dolphins high-fiving.” My good friend, Jason,  inadvertently coined it many years ago while he and I were kayaking in New Zealand’s Lake Wakatipu, the Sunday Mountains looming in the distance. (Any Lord of the Rings fans reading?) It was a gorgeous experience, but I couldn’t help lament over not seeing any whales or dolphins. He laughed and said my problem was that I had expected to see dolphins high-fiving and that my expectations needed managing. To be fair, it was an uphill battle. Aragon didn’t show up (It was a LotR film site, and Viggo Mortenson, specifically Viggo Mortenson dressed as Aragon, is perpetually in my hall-pass-top-five. Frankly, he’s the only one I  remember on the list). What I told Jason, something that still holds, is I can’t help but expect “the brochure experience.” I can’t help it.

I’m more of an optimist than a realist (despite my best efforts). Is it better to set expectations low and be pleasantly surprised? Is that something everyone can do or just some? (Can you please show me how?) Time after time, we find ourselves disappointed by dinners out, RV resorts that barely resemble their virtual version, and big-ticket events like music festivals. Austin City Limits cost us almost three grand for four VIP tickets, and the experience was nothing less than a total bummer.  Maybe if we had just bought the general admission tickets, I wouldn’t be complaining. Maybe. Whatever the time and money spent on something, it needs to feel worth it. That’s a reasonable litmus test.

The list of disappointments is long. The list of dolphins-high-fiving-whoa-pinch-me moments is (thankfully) much longer. Like the time we stayed outside San Francisco at a “sardine” park. We were so disappointed that we considered leaving after the first night. But then, but then! We had day after day of very active humpback whales all along the coastline, we could even look right out our windows and see them! Sometimes, more than twenty at a time! (I can’t help it with the exclamation marks. I really want to add more.) A total lifetime-highlights-reel thing.

 Living this nomadic life, taking in great swaths of the country, moments like that fall over one another. And it’s the closest to literal dolphins high-fiving (flippering?) I’ve ever been. I may never become a Realist First, Optimist Second kinda person, but in my experience, and I hope yours too, the bad quickly recedes. Often, it becomes the stuff of laughs once you’re on the other side. Sometimes waaaaay on the other side. Hindsight (and my husband’s penchant for storytelling) turns our bad into some of our favorite, most laughable moments. And that definitely takes the sting out of Viggo not showing up.