Roam Report: If You Ain’t Giving Buffalo Space, Then Bye Son

Colan and I recently explored Grand Teton and Yellowstone National Park. It was, in a word, spectacular. There’s no way to convey the magnitude of the overwhelming beauty, vastness, and whoa-am-I-really-seeing-this-ness of this part of Earth, so I won’t. Instead, let’s address how to help ensure you’re around to see it all.

Have you come across stories in the news about tourists gored by wildlife in national parks, or adolescent (or worse, a baby (toddler?)) bear or bison euthanized because of some bad behavior by a well-meaning but otherwise clueless traveler? Well, lemme tell you: If our time in these parks is any indication, bad decision-making around powerful wild animals, some weighing up to two tons, has reached epidemic proportions. It’s wild to see it in the wild.

We witnessed people exiting their cars and walking towards hundreds of buffalo at one spot. It was birthing season, so babies were everywhere (did you know they’re called Cinnamons?!), and passersby were so close to these babes and their hulking parents. So close. With only outstretched arms and an iPhone as protection. Did you know the minimum distance you’re supposed to keep from a wild buffalo is 25 yards? For all visual learners, that’s roughly a seven-story building. That’s five full-sized sofas or three yellow school buses end-to-end. It’s approximately six giraffes standing on one another’s heads. (I realize the last example doesn’t translate easily into a real-world application, but that doesn’t compel me to leave it out. Sorry.)

For moose, it’s even more space than that and bears even more— four times the space of buffalo! (Hope you’re taking notes.) One hundred yards, or the length of a football field, is the space you should give a bear. It’s the length of the hugely helpful example of 24 giraffes standing on one another’s heads. Oh, and it’s crucial to know that, generally speaking, bear spray can only protect you once a bear is about thirty feet away and probably charging at this point. That’s only ten yards. Or maybe one half a giraffe if you’re lucky once you’ve finished fumbling with the safety. I don’t need much time to decide I never want to be half a giraffe away from a wild bear. Or probably a tame one, either, for that matter.

We have so few opportunities to see animals in the wild that it can be challenging to keep a cool and calm head when it happens. Still, we owe it to them to not be idiots. So give them some space next time you find yourself lucky enough to witness these majestic beasts in the wild. And then give them some more. And then probably a little more. You’ll probably still be a few giraffes short.

See you out there!

Cristy Lee